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Watch US television for any length of time and the endless spume of adverts will eventually separate into three distinct types.
The first are adverts for units of generic food-substance, each one essentially the same hand-sized grenade of glossy and salted microminced matter; but each also with its own industrialised repertoire of colours and noise and packaging required to dress it as a distinct genre of actual human food. Try the delicious new Flame Sauced Philly Cheese Taco Wing Waffle Dog Deep Dish MegaDeath Burger Grenade-Shaped Eat Thing. You won’t be disappointed. Or you will be. Whatever.
The second type is healthcare adverts, which invariably show a happy, active, quietly troubled person throwing a Frisbee or playing chess, while a concerned voice talks about the transformative benefits of Omni-Pill.
Although because Omni-Pill is also a violent chemical, the second half of this montage must be accompanied by a list of its many potential side effects, which include, with startling regularity, suicidal thoughts, depression and genital warts. All of these are referred to in the same warm voice and over the same upbeat imagery, so that for about 30 seconds you’re basically watching a glossy and persuasive advert campaign for suicide…